Jill Duggar Dillard Speaks About Navigating Family, Faith, And Freedom
In a heartfelt revelation, Jill Duggar Dillard candidly shared her journey of self-discovery and resilience, shedding light on the challenges she and husband Derick Dillard faced while filming their family’s reality TV shows. The Dillards, known for their appearances on 19 Kids and Counting and its spin-off Counting On, have chosen to unveil the toll these shows took on their relationship, offering a unique perspective from a conservative standpoint.
“It caused a lot of frustration in our marriage. Especially early on, where he would feel a certain way about filming something. I’d be like, ‘I hear you, I feel you, I also don’t want to do whatever it is they’re asking us to do either. But we have to,'” Jill told PEOPLE.
The Dillard couple, in their forthcoming book Counting the Cost, delves into their experiences within the Duggar family’s ultra-conservative world. A central theme emerges – after their marriage in 2014, they yearned for a life of their own, free from the constraints of 20 hours a week of camera time.
“It began to feel like a burden,” Jill writes in the book, set for release on September 12.
Jill’s upbringing, deeply rooted in the teachings of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), added another layer of complexity. The principle of unwavering obedience to one’s parents created a challenging dynamic for Jill, making it difficult for her to say no to her father, Jim Bob Duggar, and the show’s relentless filming demands.
“It definitely got between us,” she says, referring to the conflicts she and Derick faced while trying to make family decisions. “No matter your age, you are to obey your parents wishes and you even have to ask them for their blessing for any major moment in your life…We were dealing with this a lot when we were trying to make decisions for our family , and we were really wrestling back and forth with it,” she stated.
Derick alleges that Jim Bob exacerbated the tension by questioning their choices and driving a wedge between them.
“Whenever we were at odds with what her dad thought we should be doing with filming, he would say things that would be very damaging,” Derick claims. “And I think that was a red flag.”
According to Jill, she was pushed to a breaking point, leading her to choose sides and realize the need to fight for her marriage.
“When I saw how it was affecting our marriage, I think that was another wake-up call for me. It was like, okay, we need to either fight this battle together, or it’s going to rip us apart. So yeah, we had to join forces at that point,” she recalled.
Today, the Dillard family has found their sanctuary on the border of Arkansas and Oklahoma. They have three sons and live away from the cameras and the spotlight, a place where they feel truly content. While they anticipate criticism for sharing their story, they believe it’s essential to do so, particularly for their siblings who may encounter similar challenges.
“I know there will be nay-sayers, but I feel called to do this. We really wanted to tell our story for my siblings, because some of them are going to face similar challenges, if they haven’t already, to what I’ve faced,” Jill speaks of her decision to write the book.
