Amanda Kloots Reflects On Raising Her Son Elvis Amid Grief Of Losing Husband Nick Cordero
Amanda Kloots, television personality and author, opened up about the profound impact her son Elvis has had on her grieving process after the tragic death of her husband, Broadway actor Nick Cordero. Nick passed away at 41 in July 2020 following a difficult battle with COVID-19, just after their son’s first birthday.
In an intimate conversation with her close friend and film producer Hilary Shor for TheRetaility.com’s In Conversation series, Amanda, 42, shared her journey through grief and single parenthood. “I had a 1-year-old baby,” she recalls of her now 3-year-old son.
Hilary noted the immense responsibility Amanda faced, saying, “You had to bury Nick and, three minutes later, feed [Elvis].”
Amanda agreed, reflecting, “Yeah, exactly. There was no time to [think about it]. It was such a blessing. Honestly, I look back, and it was a blessing to roll over every morning and have Elvis right there smiling at me. It saved me.”
The early days of her grief were compounded by the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Amanda explained, “I mean, every single day, there was no other option. Also, it was still the height of COVID. To have people over [wasn’t a possibility]. It was [only my] inner circle. [There] wasn’t an option of, ‘I’m just going to take him to daycare all day, and I’m just going lay here and cry.’ There was no [other] option [but to keep moving].”
Despite the challenges, Amanda sees a silver lining in her situation. “Right now, his family unit is just him and [me]. I will say, though, that one of the biggest blessings in being a single parent these last four years [is our bond],” she explained.
Amanda had once dreamed of building a larger family with Nick. “And I never would have wished it on myself, obviously. I never thought it was going to be my path. I always pictured Nick and I raising a child or two children or three children together. [I remember] dreaming of that,” she shared.
However, she now cherishes the strong bond she has developed with Elvis. “But the bright side – because I always try to find a positive spin on things – is that our bond is so [strong]… I could cry over it,” she said, as she held back tears.
Having Elvis by her side made the grieving process more bearable. “Sometimes, I’m like, ‘Oh my God, what would my journey be like if I didn’t have Elvis?’ And then I’m like, ‘I don’t want to think about that,’ because it would have been so hard,” Amanda revealed.
She also appreciates that her grief journey allowed her some personal space. “What is wild though is I have a friend who’s a new widow. She has two boys, who are 10 and 12. I always tell her, ‘I’m amazed by you because I know the grief you’re dealing with on your own. But I got to grieve alone,” she stated.
Amanda expressed deep admiration for those who must navigate their grief while also supporting grieving children. “I didn’t have to grieve for my child. I didn’t have to watch my child grieve. I didn’t have to deal with him screaming and crying at night or asking about Dada. It’s coming. I know I’ll deal with it with Elvis. But I’m a completely different person now having even just four years of grief healing than I will be when I have to deal with that. So, I hold people in the highest esteem when they are grieving and their children are. … I got to grieve so selfishly.”
