“I Feel Free”: Bethenny Frankel On Turning 54 And Finding Peace With Her Late Mother

Bethenny Frankel turned 54 this week and used the occasion to open up about her complex relationship with her late mother, Bernadette Birk. In an Instagram post, Bethenny shared her feelings about a birthday she always found difficult to celebrate, as she and her mother were born on the same day.

“I was born on my mother’s 20th birthday,” she wrote, adding that this shared day represented a mix of pain and shame. 

Bethenny’s relationship with her mother was turbulent, and over the years, birthdays became a source of stress and anxiety. “Like Goldilocks,” she wrote, “too little was too little and too much was too much.” 

Bethenny even admitted she’d feel physically sick every year as a child around her birthday.

Reflecting on how she feels now, months after her mother’s passing in April 2024, Bethenny revealed a newfound sense of freedom. “This year, I feel free, lighter, happier as if something has been lifted,” she wrote. Bethenny said she’s finally at peace with who she is: “I am proud of my age and of the mother, friend, partner, and person I am. I have everything I want and need.”

To honor her late mother, Bethenny bought a vintage Mercedes and shared a video of it as part of her birthday post. The post also included a series of photos, including a throwback of herself with her mother, a sweet picture with her daughter, Bryn Hoppy, 14, and snapshots from her solo adventures over the years.

Bethenny had previously spoken about her mother’s passing at 73 from lung cancer, describing her as a “complex” woman who dealt with many challenges. “She was brilliant, funny, cultured, and wise,” Bethenny wrote in April. 

But Birk also struggled with a lifelong eating disorder, alcoholism, and other self-destructive habits. Though she felt her mother wasn’t fully equipped to be a parent, Bethenny added, “She loved me, and I have beautiful memories of her.”

Interestingly, it was Bryn’s love of art that brought Bethenny closer to her mother in recent years. Bryn adored her grandmother, and the two shared a bond over their passion for art. Birk even left her assets to Bryn, a gesture that Bethenny said meant a lot.

Over the years, Bethenny has been open about her strained relationship with her parents, including her father, Bobby Frankel, who passed away in 2009. Now, she seems determined to focus on her own happiness and growth, carrying forward the lessons she’s learned from her past. Ending her heartfelt message, Bethenny wrote, “Thank you for giving me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, which is your love, understanding, and support…Happy Birthday to myself… xoxo 🎉 🎂 🎁”