Billie Eilish Opens Up About Battle With Depression Last Summer And Finding Herself Again
Billie Eilish shared her struggles with depression in a recent interview with Rolling Stone, shedding light on the darkest period of her life.
Reflecting on her mental health journey, the 22-year-old pop sensation confessed, “It was just realer than it’s ever been before. My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person, really. I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person.”
Despite her fame and success, Billie revealed that she has grappled with depression for years. Last summer, she faced a particularly challenging bout that left her feeling hopeless.
“I’ve suffered with a lot of depression my whole life. When things happen in my soul, or whatever, the thing I’ve always held on to is, ‘Well, it’ll pass. It’ll come in waves and it’ll get worse and it’ll get better.’ And that’s always brought me comfort. And this time, I literally was like, ‘I don’t care. I don’t even want it to get better,’” she shared.
Amidst the darkness, Billie found solace in her family and friends, including her parents Maggie Baird and Patrick O’Connell, brother Finneas O’Connell, and best friend Zoe Donahoe. Their unwavering support helped her navigate through the storm, she said.
Recognizing the need for change, the Ocean Eyes hitmaker embarked on a journey of self-discovery. She realized that she had neglected simple pleasures in life, confined by the pressures of fame.
“I hit a turning point. I had this moment of like, ‘Oh, my God, I haven’t had fun in seven years,’” she revealed, adding, Truly. I had this illusion that I had, because who experiences going to the Grammys at basically 17 and winning five? But in life, I realized I had really not experienced that much. I didn’t go outside for five years. How was I supposed to have any experiences?”
With courage and determination, Billie pushed herself to step out of her comfort zone, facing her fears head-on
“I’m afraid. For a f—ing good reason. I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of the world. It’s just scary for somebody like me, and even if it’s not scary, it means being on and being vulnerable and being seen and being filmed and whatever. But with that all in mind, I have been choosing to do the thing that scares me more. I am biting the bullet and existing in the world for once,” she stated.
Now, as she prepares to release her highly anticipated third album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, on May 17, the singer finds herself reconnecting with her true essence. “This whole process has felt like I’m coming back to the girl that I was,” she shared.
Despite her openness about mental health, Billie remains wary of being labeled as the face of depression. “I understand that it’s important, and I understand that it’s an epidemic and it needs to be talked about, but I don’t want to fucking be the role model for depression. What happens when I do some s— y’all aren’t going to like?” she wondered.
Instead, she hopes to inspire others through her music and authenticity.
